Moving Forward

“The righteous keep moving forward, and those with clean hands become stronger and stronger.”

Job 17:9

This post I dedicate to all of those who have been hurt by someone, something, or a mixture of both, and know that sometimes it is not easy to just move on and forget. Me, for instance, I learn to bottle things up inside and pretend that everything is okay and that it is just another thing to ignore. Keeping everything inside becomes hard to do because I start to blame myself for everything that goes on in my life and everything bothers me...including those past memories that hurt me; I do not want those things to ruin me anymore or continue to make me feel bad about everything including myself, I want to be able to go on with my life knowing that just because I have a bad day does not mean I have a bad life. I can go on with my life everyday living with little regrets, little pain and still be happy to be breathing, but first let me take you down memory lane a little bit to show you how I got to this point.

The typical boy meets girl story: Boy meets girl, Boy likes girl, Girl likes Boy, Boy and Girl become friends, Both hide their feelings due to having a significant other, Boy and Girl become inseparable, Both end it with their significant others for different reasons, soon Boy and Girl confess feelings for each other, Boy and Girl date,  Boy and Girl break up 2 1/2 months later...yes that is a mouthful :)

I have been hurt in the past by many other guys, but this certain break up hit me hard because the bond that we had created 9 months prior to us dating was broken in an instance and I never saw it coming. Everything he had ever said to me I questioned if he was telling the truth or not...even after that I still believed every word he had said to me. My heart would not let me get over him and still wanted him, which let to me being hurt every time I saw him with another girl, or starting to like another girl, and I could not fully like a guy without the thought of him coming to mind. I shed too many tears for him because I missed being with him and felt that he was what I needed to be happy; those were not even necessary.

It was not until two days ago, as I read every message he had ever sent me, that I realized what am I doing myself? crying over something that was truly real, holding myself back from better things, hurting myself emotionally by holding onto him...That all had to stop. That moment was the moment I knew I was over him, everything that had happened no longer hurt me, I started to learn from it all and become happy with myself. For once my past no longer hurt me, I have moved past it all and realized I can truly learn from my past because we encounter pain and struggles to learn that we are strong and can get through anything that gets thrown our way if we focus on the positives in our life and learn from all the negatives.

I have learned :

1. I deserve to be Happy 

2. I am strong

3. Don't trust too easily

4. Learn to be happy with myself

5. I am beautiful

6. Don't worry about what others say/think about me

7. My mistakes don't define me, they make me stronger

8. Never forget to smile

"So remember just because you have a bad day doesn't mean your life is over, just learn from what hurt you and continue with your life."

The one who keeps me going

Never forget to Smile

Though she may be broken,
she continues to Smile
and learn from her past.
<3

P.S. Sorry if this post confuses you a little bit, I write what is in my head, and my thoughts are always jumbled :)